A Lake Weekend

June 21 will forever be a special day.

This year it began spending the weekend with a life long friend.

Floating in the lake.

 Gathering with new friends.

 Lots and lots of laughing.

Then...out of nowhere...a little crying.
This is a true story-I couldn't have made it up to be any better.
Saturday after the supper gathering, a few of us went for an evening boat cruise on the calm beautiful lake. As I boarded, my mind began to be flooded with familiar thoughts. The boat was very similar to the one that John and I owned and enjoyed many such evening cruises. This would be the first time on a boat without him. And this day would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. As I enjoyed the wind in my hair, so many memories flooded my mind.

 As I watched the water rush by, how I wished I could turn and find John at the helm. After touring homes on the shoreline the engine was stopped and we sat adrift. Clear skies revealed a dead calm and music from a nearby house could be heard. We began a game of naming the song as we enjoyed the night. Then I was hit with that gut wrenching sadness I thought I was past. You see, a song that was special to John and I (and was played at his funeral) began to play loud and clear through the darkness.
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.
I hid my tears as it seemed that the stars were aligning for John to send me a message.
Our anniversary, the boat and the song.  I was hearing-Happy Anniversary Baby. Really, it was amazing. I felt it.

It happened as it should. With old and new friends doing the things I love to do. Things that John and I enjoyed together, but now I must continue to enjoy without him. That is the difficult lesson I am learning these days. Finding the things "I" enjoy. As a couple, it is normal to experience things your spouse introduces you to. But without him, I am finding out what "I" like to do on my own. I am finding the way back to me.