Solitude

I find myself alone a lot, which I am learning to adjust. I don't think I will ever be completely comfortable with that, but it is getting easier.
In a effort to get out-even if alone-I ate alone for the first time. I went to a little café on the town square on a cold windy day. With my journal in hand I found a table near the window and with an awesome cup of coffee I felt at ease. I wrote in my journal, ate and just gazed out the window.

I wasn't alone though. There were others doing the same thing. It wasn't awkward at all. Nobody was looking at the poor lady all alone. Silly, but I thought I would stand out. Right the opposite, I blended in. I actually enjoyed it and plan to do it regularly.

My thoughts lately......while I miss John terribly I am beginning to look to the future and pray that I will not be alone forever. The hardest part is giving it to God. Trusting in his time table. A close friend suggested I need to learn to be on my own (for once in my life) before I can have a partner. I think that may be true. So instead of waiting I am planning things on my own...alone or with friends. But I am determined not to miss out on adventures because of the fear of doing it alone if a friend can't go. Ready for a bombshell? I have even gone a few dates! Yikes! I was crazy nervous but made it over that huge mountain. Hey I have to get out there to find happiness, right? 
More posts coming on "over 50 dating" :)

I will end with one of my favorite pictures.
Returning to small town Texas after a weekend in the big city. Such a calm feeling comes over me as I reach the country. The pastures come into sight and the WINDMILLS!! I love love love windmills.